Remember the iPod socks? Those pricey, brightly colored woolly wraps that swaddled your iPod like it was an infant? Apple’s decided it’s time we bring the knitwear back — but this time, for the latest iPhones.

Meet the iPhone Pocket: a glorified yarn sling for your phone and whatever else you can cram in there without stretching the poor thing into oblivion. It looks a bit like a sweater you shrank in the wash and then tried to stretch out. Or maybe a mankini.

If Dr. Seuss were involved, we’d be calling it a thneed.

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A woolly iPhone sling? Really?

Designed in collaboration with fashion brand Issey Miyake, it’s got all the hallmarks of high fashion minimalism… apparently. I’m no fashion expert. But fashion writer Tiffany Lo is, and she told me that «the design embodies Issey Miyaki’s signature pleat pattern and the idea of crafting it from a single piece of fabric — it’s instantly recognizable.»

Issey Miyake, by the way, is the designer behind Steve Jobs’ endless supply of black turtlenecks. And an Apple employee uniform that almost happened.

The iPhone Pocket is a stretchy, 3D-knitted pouch with ribbed textures that hugs your iPhone. You can wear it draped around your body as you see fit. It’s see-through when you tug at it, so you can glimpse your lockscreen.

But Apple doesn’t just want you to put your iPhone in this accessory. You’re encouraged to slip in AirPods, lip balm, a key fob, breath mints or any other pocketable item.

It comes in two lengths: short and long. The short one is more like a wristlet bag, while the long one turns your phone into a crossbody accessory. The wearable tech pouch is certainly a fashion statement if you drape it across your torso. Perhaps like a sash of questionable decisions. Whether you carry it in-hand, tie it to your bag, or sling it on like a fashion-forward postman, you’ll definitely get some looks. Perhaps confused ones.

As for the colors, you’ve got options. The short strap version comes in eight options: lemon, mandarin, purple, pink, peacock, sapphire, cinnamon and black. The long strap comes only in those latter three colors.

Who’ll want this? Lo says the iPhone Pocket «could appeal to younger generations thanks to the design that allows users to wear it as a crossbody.» Given that Apple released crossbody straps for all its iPhones earlier this year, maybe it has some insights into what Gen Z really wants.

If you’re itching to get your hands on the iPhone Pocket — for your Secret Santa circle of gifting — you’ll be able to buy it from Friday, online and at select Apple stores in posh locales (think SoHo in New York, Marché Saint-Germain in Paris, Orchard Road in Singapore). The short strap design will set you back $150, while the long strap version costs $230. A far cry from the $29 an iPod sock went for back in the day.