Baking shows, sarcasm, passive aggression, pubs — there are some things the British people do really well. But are we any good at having fun? It’s a question I’ve asked myself over the years as I’ve traveled around the world visiting many vibrant and exciting places. And honestly, while we know how to throw a jolly nice picnic on a mild summer’s day, I’m not sure we really understand the underlying mechanics of having a high-octane good time.

Perhaps that was why, when Disney decided in the early ’90s to set up a theme park in Europe, it chose France rather than the UK as the better location. It was a blow to my country, which boasts only a handful of theme parks, few of which are worth mentioning, and none of which I’d recommend making a special trip from abroad to visit. Just look, for example, at this account of a pre-opening day visit to the new Epic Universe theme park in Florida by my colleagues Scott Stein and Bridget Carey. No Brit would ever dare to dream up anything so extravagant and thrilling. 

But all that is set to change with Wednesday’s announcement that Universal has chosen the UK as the location for a planned theme park. The park, due to open in 2031, will be based in Bedford, England — a part of the country with little else to recommend it other than its proximity to London — on a 476-acre complex, which Universal is already looking to expand. It will be the first time Universal has opened a theme park outside of the US or Asia, and will likely attract significant tourism and jobs to the area.

Perhaps most important, it will give people like me, who grew up envying friends who vacationed in Orlando, a real taste of what we’ve been missing in terms of thrills and the kind of intensely detailed theming that only Disney and Universal parks are able to offer. Bear in mind that the current best roller coaster on this wet and windy island, Nemesis at Alton Towers, is now more than 30 years old — we are more than overdue a fresh opportunity to be hurled around at speed.

The Universal Park is such a big deal to the UK that even our Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, put out a statement about it. «Today we closed the deal on a multibillion-pound investment that will see Bedford home to one of the biggest entertainment parks in Europe, firmly putting the county on the global stage,» he said.

His announcement focused on the economic benefits of the park, but Universal’s decision has sparked a real buzz across the country from people who are mainly very excited about the possibility to ride genuinely good coasters.

Universal has yet to say what attractions the park will feature, but it seems inevitable that like Universal Studios in Orlando, there will be some version of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, given that the entire story is set in the UK. For the sake of my husband, who is the world’s biggest fan of Men in Black and will never go to Florida, I hope Universal also decides to transport the Alien Attack ride across the sea. 

It would be fun, too, if there was something unique at the park — just as Disneyland Paris, for a few years at least, was the only Disney park to boast the excellent Ratatouille ride. Some might appreciate specific nods to British culture beyond Harry Potter, but I say keep it American. 

Our own attempts to build «British» theme parks have been based on less-than-thrilling concepts such as Camelot (RIP) and Gulliver’s Travels. No, bring us the Simpsons and the Minions and any other yellow-hued cartoon characters you have over there. There’s not much we can do about the weather but we need to learn to have fun the American way, with snacks bigger than our meals and boundless opportunities to buy merch that we don’t need simply because we were swayed by the good vibes of our big day out. I can’t wait.

A Photo Tour Inside Epic Universe

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8A clue: Adorable flab
Answer: PUDGE

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Mini down clues and answers

1D clue: Apple orchard pests
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2D clue: Two cents, so to speak
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3D clue: Like a sarcastic dig
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4D clue: Get rid of
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5D clue: Succumb to a lullaby
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