Technologies

Top 10 Worst CES Products of the 21st Century

Why is CES so obsessed with strapping things to our heads?

It’s a wrap on CES for another year, and together we’ve seen our share of both weird and wonderful devices in 2023, but… mostly weird.

Flying cars and obscure robots are so old hat now, and so I wondered if CES could do anything less practical and even more completely bonkers. Turns out it can! Over the past 20-plus years, I’ve seen gadgets so stupefying that sometimes they exist purely because journalists like me will write about them. But it’s time to call out the really awful ones, the worst of the worst. Vacuum shoes, toilet paper robots, MP3 weapon holsters, it’s your time to shine!

The most interesting part about this rogues gallery is that some of these products — the PePe pet dryer, the HapiFork and the HushMe, to name a few — are still being sold today. That’s right: You blew it up, you maniacs!

Dyson Zone Air-Purifying Headphones

Not technically a CES product as this was announced during 2022, but Dyson was displaying the Zone Headphones on its stand at CES 2023. Though the Zone looks like it should be a COVID mask, that’s unfortunately not what it does. According to the Dyson site, development on the Zone began way back in 2016 as a personal air filter — for pollution, mainly — and as such, it was never designed to protect against COVID. Furthermore, one critic has claimed the gadget’s force-driven fans could even help maximize your chances of catching coronavirus.

Charmin Rollbot

Computer peripherals manufacturer Razer is the king of creating «look at me» products specifically for CES, but toilet tissue brand Charmin became notorious for this 2020 entry. That’s right, in the year that saw the mass panic buying of toilet paper came a robot that could bring you even more! Coincidence? Yes… probably. The RollBot was never going to be a real product, but we loved/loathed it anyway.

Kolibree Smart Toothbrush

Remember when we had to wash our hands for 20 seconds by singing songs to ourselves? The same methodology also applies to brushing your teeth, but why should you use your own brain and lips like a sucker? There have been many smart toothbrushes over the years, but today I’m picking on the Kolibree. Everything was just fine until the arrival of «the world’s first connected electric toothbrush.» Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…

Taser MP3 Holster

Back in the 2000s, the iPod became such a cultural phenomenon that every company rushed to create an MP3 player of its own. This culminated in what is one of the dumbest CES products in recent memory: the Tazer MP3 holster. Imagine trying to not only charge your holster but also connect it via USB to your computer to fill it up with 1GB of tunes.

Pepe Pet Dryer

Want to find a new way to make your small dog or cat hate you forever? Lock them in a cube prison for 25 minutes(!) and subject them to gusts of hot air. This combination torture device/dryer would have set you back $660, or you could just throw a towel over your wet dog like a normal human.

HapiFork

Throughout history, there have been so many gadgets designed to limit normal human behavior, but this one takes the (pan)cake. The HapiFork is yet another vibrating gadget that tells you to eat your meals slower (over 20 minutes), with the idea being that you are less likely to overeat. Personally, I wolf my own meals down like I’m in prison, so do your worst, HapiFork. I’ll eat with my hands if I have to! You’re not the boss of me!

Hushme

The Hushme is literally a «dumb» product — it’s designed to make its user mute to other people in the immediate vicinity. It was pitched as being useful in workplaces, but… if a co-worker gave me one of these, they’d better be wearing vacuum shoes, in order to clean up the gleefully stomped-on bits.

Belty

The original Belty was a prototype smart belt with a motor in it that adjusted itself to whether you just ate or were sitting down. Impractical as hell, but kind of cool? While there is a newer model, also called Belty, this one is even weirder — there’s no auto-sizing, but it does have a power bank charger in the buckle. OK, two things. Not only do I not want a potentially volatile compound near my nethers, I don’t want to connect a series of devices there either.

Xybernaut Poma

First shown off at CES 1998, the Hitachi-Xybernaut wearable computer was a terrible idea long before Google Glass was even a gleam in Babak Parviz’s eye. The Windows CE-based Xybernaut Poma offered a 128-MHz RISC processor and 32 MB of RAM, plus it strapped to your arm and your face and your belt!

Read more: Hitachi fashioning wearable PCs

Denso Vacuum Shoes

Shoes. You wear ’em. They wear out, you buy more. But that’s not exciting now, is it? They need things in them — phones, rockets, rollers, and… vaccuums? There are so many puns I could make about even just the name of the Denso Vacuum Shoes, but the fact that they existed at all was the biggest joke of all.

Technologies

Samsung’s iPhone Fold Killer Is Leaked

Technologies

How to Tell if Someone Else’s Apple AirTag Is Tracking You

These settings can help make sure your iPhone alerts you to unwanted location trackers.

The biggest benefit of Apple’s AirTags is that they help you find your belongings, whether you’re looking for lost keys or keeping track of your luggage while traveling. But AirTags can also be used to track you without your knowledge.

AirTags work by combining built-in sensors, wireless signals and Apple’s wide Find My network to let you keep tabs on your valuables. If you ever lose your wallet with an AirTag inside, for example, you can use the Find My app to locate it on a map, have it play a sound to help you find it nearby, or mark it as «lost,» which allows other Find My users to help you find it.

One of the biggest complaints about AirTags, however, is that someone with malicious intent could easily slip one of the tiny tags into your bag and then track your movements without your consent. Multiple people have reported AirTag-related stalking incidents where the victims didn’t know the trackers were placed on them until much later.

Apple and Google (Android users have their own choice of Bluetooth trackers, such as the Moto Tag, which works with Google’s Find Hub) have since collaborated on an industry standard that alerts the user if a device is being used to track them without their knowledge. Thanks to this collaboration, Android users will be able to know if an AirTag is being used to track them, too.

Apple, for its part, has also made some changes in the past few years that improve the ability to detect an unwanted AirTag. In the initial rollout, an AirTag would make a sound three days after it’s separated from its paired device. Now, that duration is 8 to 24 hours. If you have unwanted tracking notifications enabled (which we’ll get to below), you’ll receive an audible alert.

We should note here that the new AirTag is 50% louder than the first-generation model, and would therefore be theoretically better at alerting you to the unwanted AirTag. Apple has also said that the speaker on the second-gen AirTag is harder to remove than on the first-gen model, in case bad actors try to remove it.

Detecting unwanted trackers

To be able to detect unwanted trackers, first enable unwanted-tracking notifications. For AirTags or other Find My accessories, these pop-up notifications (e.g., «AirTag found moving with you») are available on devices with iOS 14.5 or later. For other Bluetooth tracking devices, these notifications are enabled on iOS 17.5 or later.

You should enable Location Services, Find My iPhone, Bluetooth and Allow Notifications. Here’s how:

Head to Settings, then Privacy & Security, then Location Services and toggle it on.
After that, head to Settings, then Apple Account, select Find My and turn Find My iPhone on.
To enable Bluetooth, go to Settings, then Bluetooth and turn that on.
Then go to Settings, then Notifications, scroll down to Tracking Notifications and toggle on Allow Notifications. Make sure airplane mode is off, or you won’t receive tracking notifications.

What to do when you get the tracking notification

If you do get a notification like «Unknown tracker alert» or «Item detected near you,» you can try to find the unwanted AirTag by tapping it. Tap continue and then tap Play Sound or tap Find Nearby to locate the AirTag in question.

If it doesn’t play a sound or you’re unable to find it, the item may no longer be on your person. Apple suggests checking your other belongings or the area around you, just in case. If you want to review the notification at a later time, you can open the Find My app, tap Items and then tap Items Detected With You.

Be aware that there are often «false positives,» when notifications are triggered when someone nearby has a tracker on them. If you’re traveling on a train, plane or bus, waiting in line or seated in a public space, a mistaken tracking alert could stem from glitches or high-density Bluetooth environments.

If you get an alert, though, it’s always a good idea to take it seriously and investigate what might be causing it.

If you do find an AirTag that doesn’t belong to you, hold the top of your iPhone near the tracker until you see a notification. Tap it, and this will launch a website that provides information like its serial number, the last four digits of the phone number or a blurred-out email address of its owner. If the AirTag is marked as «lost,» you may see a message with instructions on how to contact them.

If you’re concerned that the tracker is being used to monitor your movements and location, Apple advises taking a screenshot of the information above for your records. You can then disable the AirTag by pressing down on the back of the AirTag, turning it counterclockwise to remove the cover and removing the battery.

Of course, before making any of these changes, it’s important to come up with a safety plan, especially if you’re afraid you’re being tracked by a current or former abusive partner. Contact your local law enforcement if you feel like your safety is at risk, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233).