Technologies

Top 10 Worst CES Products of the 21st Century

Why is CES so obsessed with strapping things to our heads?

It’s a wrap on CES for another year, and together we’ve seen our share of both weird and wonderful devices in 2023, but… mostly weird.

Flying cars and obscure robots are so old hat now, and so I wondered if CES could do anything less practical and even more completely bonkers. Turns out it can! Over the past 20-plus years, I’ve seen gadgets so stupefying that sometimes they exist purely because journalists like me will write about them. But it’s time to call out the really awful ones, the worst of the worst. Vacuum shoes, toilet paper robots, MP3 weapon holsters, it’s your time to shine!

The most interesting part about this rogues gallery is that some of these products — the PePe pet dryer, the HapiFork and the HushMe, to name a few — are still being sold today. That’s right: You blew it up, you maniacs!

Dyson Zone Air-Purifying Headphones

Not technically a CES product as this was announced during 2022, but Dyson was displaying the Zone Headphones on its stand at CES 2023. Though the Zone looks like it should be a COVID mask, that’s unfortunately not what it does. According to the Dyson site, development on the Zone began way back in 2016 as a personal air filter — for pollution, mainly — and as such, it was never designed to protect against COVID. Furthermore, one critic has claimed the gadget’s force-driven fans could even help maximize your chances of catching coronavirus.

Charmin Rollbot

Computer peripherals manufacturer Razer is the king of creating «look at me» products specifically for CES, but toilet tissue brand Charmin became notorious for this 2020 entry. That’s right, in the year that saw the mass panic buying of toilet paper came a robot that could bring you even more! Coincidence? Yes… probably. The RollBot was never going to be a real product, but we loved/loathed it anyway.

Kolibree Smart Toothbrush

Remember when we had to wash our hands for 20 seconds by singing songs to ourselves? The same methodology also applies to brushing your teeth, but why should you use your own brain and lips like a sucker? There have been many smart toothbrushes over the years, but today I’m picking on the Kolibree. Everything was just fine until the arrival of «the world’s first connected electric toothbrush.» Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…

Taser MP3 Holster

Back in the 2000s, the iPod became such a cultural phenomenon that every company rushed to create an MP3 player of its own. This culminated in what is one of the dumbest CES products in recent memory: the Tazer MP3 holster. Imagine trying to not only charge your holster but also connect it via USB to your computer to fill it up with 1GB of tunes.

Pepe Pet Dryer

Want to find a new way to make your small dog or cat hate you forever? Lock them in a cube prison for 25 minutes(!) and subject them to gusts of hot air. This combination torture device/dryer would have set you back $660, or you could just throw a towel over your wet dog like a normal human.

HapiFork

Throughout history, there have been so many gadgets designed to limit normal human behavior, but this one takes the (pan)cake. The HapiFork is yet another vibrating gadget that tells you to eat your meals slower (over 20 minutes), with the idea being that you are less likely to overeat. Personally, I wolf my own meals down like I’m in prison, so do your worst, HapiFork. I’ll eat with my hands if I have to! You’re not the boss of me!

Hushme

The Hushme is literally a «dumb» product — it’s designed to make its user mute to other people in the immediate vicinity. It was pitched as being useful in workplaces, but… if a co-worker gave me one of these, they’d better be wearing vacuum shoes, in order to clean up the gleefully stomped-on bits.

Belty

The original Belty was a prototype smart belt with a motor in it that adjusted itself to whether you just ate or were sitting down. Impractical as hell, but kind of cool? While there is a newer model, also called Belty, this one is even weirder — there’s no auto-sizing, but it does have a power bank charger in the buckle. OK, two things. Not only do I not want a potentially volatile compound near my nethers, I don’t want to connect a series of devices there either.

Xybernaut Poma

First shown off at CES 1998, the Hitachi-Xybernaut wearable computer was a terrible idea long before Google Glass was even a gleam in Babak Parviz’s eye. The Windows CE-based Xybernaut Poma offered a 128-MHz RISC processor and 32 MB of RAM, plus it strapped to your arm and your face and your belt!

Read more: Hitachi fashioning wearable PCs

Denso Vacuum Shoes

Shoes. You wear ’em. They wear out, you buy more. But that’s not exciting now, is it? They need things in them — phones, rockets, rollers, and… vaccuums? There are so many puns I could make about even just the name of the Denso Vacuum Shoes, but the fact that they existed at all was the biggest joke of all.

Technologies

Today’s NYT Connections: Sports Edition Hints and Answers for March 30, #553

Here are hints and the answers for the NYT Connections: Sports Edition puzzle for March 30 No. 553.

Looking for the most recent regular Connections answers? Click here for today’s Connections hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Mini Crossword, Wordle and Strands puzzles.

Today’s Connections: Sports Edition is a tough one. You’ll need to know a little about four very different sports in order to solve it. If you’re struggling with today’s puzzle, read on for hints and the answers.

Connections: Sports Edition is published by The Athletic, the subscription-based sports journalism site owned by The Times. It doesn’t appear in the NYT Games app, but it does in The Athletic’s own app. Or you can play it for free online.

Read more: NYT Connections: Sports Edition Puzzle Comes Out of Beta

Hints for today’s Connections: Sports Edition groups

Here are four hints for the groupings in today’s Connections: Sports Edition puzzle, ranked from the easiest yellow group to the tough (and sometimes bizarre) purple group.

Yellow group hint: Make a racket.

Green group hint: Goooooal!

Blue group hint: Baseball stars.

Purple group hint: Toss the pigskin.

Answers for today’s Connections: Sports Edition groups

Yellow group: Tennis Grand Slams.

Green group: Premier League teams.

Blue group: Last four World Series MVPs.

Purple group: ____ football.

Read more: Wordle Cheat Sheet: Here Are the Most Popular Letters Used in English Words

What are today’s Connections: Sports Edition answers?

The yellow words in today’s Connections

The theme is Tennis Grand Slams. The four answers are Australian, French, U.S., and Wimbledon.

The green words in today’s Connections

The theme is Premier League teams. The four answers are Chelsea, Leeds, Liverpool and Sunderland.

The blue words in today’s Connections

The theme is last four World Series MVPs. The four answers are Freeman, Peña, Seager and Yamamoto.

The purple words in today’s Connections

The theme is ____ football. The four answers are American, fantasy, flag and total.

Technologies

Today’s NYT Mini Crossword Answers for Monday, March 30

Here are the answers for The New York Times Mini Crossword for March 30.

Looking for the most recent Mini Crossword answer? Click here for today’s Mini Crossword hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Wordle, Strands, Connections and Connections: Sports Edition puzzles.

I’m unfamiliar with «wax apples,» so 2-Down was a mystery to me until the other answers filled in. Need some help with today’s Mini Crossword? Read on for all the answers. And if you could use some hints and guidance for daily solving, check out our Mini Crossword tips.

If you’re looking for today’s Wordle, Connections, Connections: Sports Edition and Strands answers, you can visit CNET’s NYT puzzle hints page.

Read more: Tips and Tricks for Solving The New York Times Mini Crossword

Let’s get to those Mini Crossword clues and answers.

Mini across clues and answers

1A clue: 1975 Spielberg film that’s considered the first summer blockbuster
Answer: JAWS

5A clue: «Oh okay, gotcha»
Answer: ISEE

6A clue: Athlete from New York (in one sport) or San Francisco (in another)
Answer: GIANT

8A clue: Declare publicly
Answer: AVOW

9A clue: Emperor who didn’t actually fiddle while Rome burned
Answer: NERO

Mini down clues and answers

1D clue: «The ___ is up!»
Answer: JIG

2D clue: Like lotus root and wax apples
Answer: ASIAN

3D clue: Drive dangerously in traffic
Answer: WEAVE

4D clue: Spanish title
Answer: SENOR

7D clue: Scrabble value of D or G
Answer: TWO

Technologies

Today’s NYT Strands Hints, Answers and Help for March 30 #757

Here are hints and answers for the NYT Strands puzzle for March 30, No. 757.

Looking for the most recent Strands answer? Click here for our daily Strands hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Mini Crossword, Wordle, Connections and Connections: Sports Edition puzzles.

Today’s NYT Strands puzzle is tough, but in the end, it’s a fun one. And the spangram makes a fun themed shape! Some of the answers are difficult to unscramble, so if you need hints and answers, read on.

I go into depth about the rules for Strands in this story.

If you’re looking for today’s Wordle, Connections and Mini Crossword answers, you can visit CNET’s NYT puzzle hints page.

Read more: NYT Connections Turns 1: These Are the 5 Toughest Puzzles So Far

Hint for today’s Strands puzzle

Today’s Strands theme is: For a rainy day

If that doesn’t help you, here’s a clue: Singin’ in the rain.

Clue words to unlock in-game hints

Your goal is to find hidden words that fit the puzzle’s theme. If you’re stuck, find any words you can. Every time you find three words of four letters or more, Strands will reveal one of the theme words. These are the words I used to get those hints but any words of four or more letters that you find will work:

CANT, CALL, ROUT, RILE, SIRE, LIRE, BAIL, MAIL, TALL, MALL, HALL, BAND, PANE, TAPAS

Answers for today’s Strands puzzle

These are the answers that tie into the theme. The goal of the puzzle is to find them all, including the spangram, a theme word that reaches from one side of the puzzle to the other. When you have all of them (I originally thought there were always eight but learned that the number can vary), every letter on the board will be used. Here are the nonspangram answers:

RIBS, VENT, PANEL, SHAFT, BUTTON, CANOPY, HANDLE

Today’s Strands spangram

Today’s Strands spangram is UMBRELLATERM. To find it, start with the U that is three letters to the right on the bottom row, and wind up, forming … kind of an umbrella shape?