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Top 10 Worst CES Products of the 21st Century

Why is CES so obsessed with strapping things to our heads?

It’s a wrap on CES for another year, and together we’ve seen our share of both weird and wonderful devices in 2023, but… mostly weird.

Flying cars and obscure robots are so old hat now, and so I wondered if CES could do anything less practical and even more completely bonkers. Turns out it can! Over the past 20-plus years, I’ve seen gadgets so stupefying that sometimes they exist purely because journalists like me will write about them. But it’s time to call out the really awful ones, the worst of the worst. Vacuum shoes, toilet paper robots, MP3 weapon holsters, it’s your time to shine!

The most interesting part about this rogues gallery is that some of these products — the PePe pet dryer, the HapiFork and the HushMe, to name a few — are still being sold today. That’s right: You blew it up, you maniacs!

Dyson Zone Air-Purifying Headphones

Not technically a CES product as this was announced during 2022, but Dyson was displaying the Zone Headphones on its stand at CES 2023. Though the Zone looks like it should be a COVID mask, that’s unfortunately not what it does. According to the Dyson site, development on the Zone began way back in 2016 as a personal air filter — for pollution, mainly — and as such, it was never designed to protect against COVID. Furthermore, one critic has claimed the gadget’s force-driven fans could even help maximize your chances of catching coronavirus.

Read more: Dyson Zone Air Filtering Headphones on Sale in January for $949

Charmin Rollbot

Computer peripherals manufacturer Razer is the king of creating «look at me» products specifically for CES, but toilet tissue brand Charmin became notorious for this 2020 entry. That’s right, in the year that saw the mass panic buying of toilet paper came a robot that could bring you even more! Coincidence? Yes… probably. The RollBot was never going to be a real product, but we loved/loathed it anyway.

Read more: These Charmin robots make us wonder: Is pooping the next tech frontier?

Kolibree Smart Toothbrush

Remember when we had to wash our hands for 20 seconds by singing songs to ourselves? The same methodology also applies to brushing your teeth, but why should you use your own brain and lips like a sucker? There have been many smart toothbrushes over the years, but today I’m picking on the Kolibree. Everything was just fine until the arrival of «the world’s first connected electric toothbrush.» Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…

Read more: CES 2014: Kolibree’s connected toothbrush aims for better dental health

Taser MP3 Holster

Back in the 2000s, the iPod became such a cultural phenomenon that every company rushed to create an MP3 player of its own. This culminated in what is one of the dumbest CES products in recent memory: the Tazer MP3 holster. Imagine trying to not only charge your holster but also connect it via USB to your computer to fill it up with 1GB of tunes.

Read more: What every Taser needs: a music-playing holster

Pepe Pet Dryer

Want to find a new way to make your small dog or cat hate you forever? Lock them in a cube prison for 25 minutes(!) and subject them to gusts of hot air. This combination torture device/dryer would have set you back $660, or you could just throw a towel over your wet dog like a normal human.

Read more: At CES 2019, a $660 sauna will give your dog the blow dry of his life

HapiFork

Throughout history, there have been so many gadgets designed to limit normal human behavior, but this one takes the (pan)cake. The HapiFork is yet another vibrating gadget that tells you to eat your meals slower (over 20 minutes), with the idea being that you are less likely to overeat. Personally, I wolf my own meals down like I’m in prison, so do your worst, HapiFork. I’ll eat with my hands if I have to! You’re not the boss of me!

Read more: Bolting your food? Put on the brakes with HapiFork

Hushme

The Hushme is literally a «dumb» product — it’s designed to make its user mute to other people in the immediate vicinity. It was pitched as being useful in workplaces, but… if a co-worker gave me one of these, they’d better be wearing vacuum shoes, in order to clean up the gleefully stomped-on bits.

Read more: Hushme may be the weirdest, yet most useful wireless headphone ever created

Belty

The original Belty was a prototype smart belt with a motor in it that adjusted itself to whether you just ate or were sitting down. Impractical as hell, but kind of cool? While there is a newer model, also called Belty, this one is even weirder — there’s no auto-sizing, but it does have a power bank charger in the buckle. OK, two things. Not only do I not want a potentially volatile compound near my nethers, I don’t want to connect a series of devices there either.

Read more: Meet Belty, the ridiculous but strangely popular show-stealer of CES Unveiled

Xybernaut Poma

First shown off at CES 1998, the Hitachi-Xybernaut wearable computer was a terrible idea long before Google Glass was even a gleam in Babak Parviz’s eye. The Windows CE-based Xybernaut Poma offered a 128-MHz RISC processor and 32 MB of RAM, plus it strapped to your arm and your face and your belt!

Read more: Hitachi fashioning wearable PCs

Denso Vacuum Shoes

Shoes. You wear ’em. They wear out, you buy more. But that’s not exciting now, is it? They need things in them — phones, rockets, rollers, and… vaccuums? There are so many puns I could make about even just the name of the Denso Vacuum Shoes, but the fact that they existed at all was the biggest joke of all.

Read more: Vacuum cleaner shoes show up at CES because why not

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Today’s NYT Mini Crossword Answers for Monday, Nov. 3

Here are the answers for The New York Times Mini Crossword for Nov. 3.

Looking for the most recent Mini Crossword answer? Click here for today’s Mini Crossword hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Wordle, Strands, Connections and Connections: Sports Edition puzzles.

Need some help with today’s Mini Crossword? It’s fairly straightforward, but if you need help, read on. And if you could use some hints and guidance for daily solving, check out our Mini Crossword tips.

If you’re looking for today’s Wordle, Connections, Connections: Sports Edition and Strands answers, you can visit CNET’s NYT puzzle hints page.

Read more: Tips and Tricks for Solving The New York Times Mini Crossword

Let’s get to those Mini Crossword clues and answers.

Mini across clues and answers

1A clue: On the ___ (using Tinder or Bumble)
Answer: APPS

5A clue: Color of the second-hardest Connections category
Answer: BLUE

6A clue: Prepare, as a Thanksgiving turkey
Answer: CARVE

8A clue: Have to have
Answer: NEED

9A clue: Camper’s construction
Answer: TENT

Mini down clues and answers

1D clue: Kimmel’s channel
Answer: ABC

2D clue: Audience member who’s in on the magic trick
Answer: PLANT

3D clue: Many a baby food
Answer: PUREE

4D clue: Typical number of objects that humans can hold in working memory, hence phone numbers
Answer: SEVEN

7D clue: Summer hrs. in N.Y.C.
Answer: EDT

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Technologies

Today’s NYT Connections: Sports Edition Hints and Answers for Nov. 3, #406

Here are hints and the answers for the NYT Connections: Sports Edition puzzle for Nov. 3, No. 406.

Looking for the most recent regular Connections answers? Click here for today’s Connections hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Mini Crossword, Wordle and Strands puzzles.

Today’s Connections: Sports Edition is a fun one. The purple category, as always, is a real brain-bender. If you’re struggling but still want to solve it, read on for hints and the answers.

Connections: Sports Edition is published by The Athletic, the subscription-based sports journalism site owned by the Times. It doesn’t show up in the NYT Games app but appears in The Athletic’s own app. Or you can play it for free online.

Read more: NYT Connections: Sports Edition Puzzle Comes Out of Beta

Hints for today’s Connections: Sports Edition groups

Here are four hints for the groupings in today’s Connections: Sports Edition puzzle, ranked from the easiest yellow group to the tough (and sometimes bizarre) purple group.

Yellow group hint: Catch up!

Green group hint: Beehive State.

Blue group hint: Hoops statistics.

Purple group hint: Signal-callers, but tweak their last name.

Answers for today’s Connections: Sports Edition groups

Yellow group: Fall behind.

Green group: Utah teams.

Blue group: Categories of points in a basketball box score.

Purple group: NFL QBs, with the first letter changed.

Read more: Wordle Cheat Sheet: Here Are the Most Popular Letters Used in English Words

What are today’s Connections: Sports Edition answers?

The yellow words in today’s Connections

The theme is fall behind. The four answers are drop back, falter, lag and trail.

The green words in today’s Connections

The theme is Utah teams. The four answers are Cougars, Jazz, Mammoth and Utes.

The blue words in today’s Connections

The theme is categories of points in a basketball box score.  The four answers are bench, fast-break, paint and second-chance.

The purple words in today’s Connections

The theme is NFL QBs, with the first letter changed. The four answers are cove (Jordan Love), Ellen (Josh Allen), mix (Bo Nix) and wields (Justin Fields).

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Technologies

Today’s NYT Connections Hints, Answers and Help for Nov. 3, #876

Here are some hints and the answers for the NYT Connections puzzle No. 876 for Monday, Nov. 3.

Looking for the most recent Connections answers? Click here for today’s Connections hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Mini Crossword, Wordle, Connections: Sports Edition and Strands puzzles.

Today’s NYT Connections puzzle has some exceptionally long clues. All of them have at least two words. If you need help, you’re in the right place. Read on for clues and today’s Connections answers.

The Times now has a Connections Bot, like the one for Wordle. Go there after you play to receive a numeric score and to have the program analyze your answers. Players who are registered with the Times Games section can now nerd out by following their progress, including the number of puzzles completed, win rate, number of times they nabbed a perfect score and their win streak.

Read more: Hints, Tips and Strategies to Help You Win at NYT Connections Every Time

Hints for today’s Connections groups

Here are four hints for the groupings in today’s Connections puzzle, ranked from the easiest yellow group to the tough (and sometimes bizarre) purple group.

Yellow group hint: Primary color.

Green group hint: Your lungs also qualify.

Blue group hint: Parents’ nightmare toys.

Purple group hint: Look for a connection in the second word of each phrase.

Answers for today’s Connections groups

Yellow group: Things that are red.

Green group: Things filled with air.

Blue group: Things with a lot of pieces.

Purple group: Ending with animals.

Read more: Wordle Cheat Sheet: Here Are the Most Popular Letters Used in English Words

What are today’s Connections answers?

The yellow words in today’s Connections

The theme is things that are red. The four answers are clown nose, fire engine, maraschino cherry and stop sign.

The green words in today’s Connections

The theme is things filled with air. The four answers are balloon animal, bouncy castle, water wings and whoopee cushion.

The blue words in today’s Connections

The theme is things with a lot of pieces. The four answers are jigsaw puzzle, Lego set, Lite-Brite and pick-up sticks.

The purple words in today’s Connections

The theme is ending with animals. The four answers are dark horse, funky chicken, jumbo shrimp and sea monkey.

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