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CES Gadgets That Take the Cake for Being Completely Awful

From vacuum shoes to toilet robots and more, these are an all-time no for me.

It’s a wrap on CES for another year, and together we’ve seen our share of both weird and wonderful devices in 2023, but… mostly weird.

Flying cars and obscure robots are so old hat now, and so I wondered if CES could do anything less practical and even more completely bonkers. Turns out it can! Over the past 20-plus years, I’ve seen gadgets so stupefying that sometimes they exist purely because journalists like me will write about them. But it’s time to call out the really awful ones, the worst of the worst. Vacuum shoes, toilet paper robots, MP3 weapon holsters, it’s your time to shine!

The most interesting part about this rogues gallery is that some of these products — the Pepe pet dryer, the HapiFork and the Hushme, to name a few — are still being sold today. That’s right: You blew it up, you maniacs!

Dyson Zone Air-Purifying Headphones

Not technically a CES product, as this was announced during 2022, but Dyson was demonstrating the Zone headphones in Las Vegas during CES 2023. Though the Zone looks like it should be a COVID mask, that’s unfortunately not what it does. According to the Dyson site, development on the Zone began way back in 2016 as a personal air filter — for pollution, mainly — and as such, it was never designed to protect against COVID. Furthermore, one critic has claimed the gadget’s force-driven fans could even help maximize your chances of catching coronavirus. CNET’s Katie Collins, who tried it out at Dyson’s HQ in the UK, thought it was “too brilliant and bizarre to ignore.”

Read more: Dyson Zone Air Filtering Headphones on Sale in January for $949

Charmin Rollbot

Computer peripherals manufacturer Razer is the king of creating “look at me” products specifically for CES, but toilet tissue brand Charmin became notorious for this 2020 entry. That’s right, in the year that saw the mass panic buying of toilet paper came a robot that could bring you even more! Coincidence? Yes… probably. The RollBot was never going to be a real product, but we loved/loathed it anyway.

Read more: These Charmin Robots Make Us Wonder: Is Pooping the Next Tech Frontier?

Kolibree Smart Toothbrush

Remember when we had to wash our hands for 20 seconds by singing songs to ourselves? The same methodology also applies to brushing your teeth, but why should you use your own brain and lips like a sucker? There have been many smart toothbrushes over the years, but today I’m picking on the Kolibree. Everything was just fine until the arrival of “the world’s first connected electric toothbrush.” Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…

Read more: Kolibree’s Connected Toothbrush Aims for Better Dental Health

Taser MP3 Holster

Back in the 2000s, the iPod became such a cultural phenomenon that every company rushed to create an MP3 player of its own. This culminated in what is one of the dumbest CES products in recent memory: the Tazer MP3 holster. Imagine trying to not only charge your holster but also connect it via USB to your computer to fill it up with 1GB of tunes.

Read more: What Every Taser Needs: A Music-Playing Holster

Pepe Pet Dryer

Want to find a new way to make your small dog or cat hate you forever? Lock them in a cube prison for 25 minutes (!) and subject them to gusts of hot air. This combination torture device/dryer would have set you back $660, or you could just throw a towel over your wet dog like a normal human.

Read more: At CES 2019, a $660 Sauna Will Give Your Dog the Blow Dry of His Life

HapiFork

Throughout history, there have been so many gadgets designed to limit normal human behavior, but this one takes the (pan)cake. The HapiFork is yet another vibrating gadget that tells you to eat your meals slower (over 20 minutes), with the idea being that you are less likely to overeat. Personally, I wolf my own meals down like I’m in prison, so do your worst, HapiFork. I’ll eat with my hands if I have to! You’re not the boss of me!

Read more: Bolting Your Food? Put On the Brakes With HapiFork

Hushme

The Hushme is literally a “dumb” product — it’s designed to make its user mute to other people in the immediate vicinity. It was pitched as being useful in workplaces, but… if a co-worker gave me one of these, they’d better be wearing vacuum shoes, in order to clean up the gleefully stomped-on bits.

Read more: Hushme May Be the Weirdest, Yet Most Useful Wireless Headphones Ever Created

Belty

The original Belty was a prototype smart belt with a motor in it that adjusted itself to whether you just ate or were sitting down. Impractical as hell, but kind of cool? While there is a newer model, also called Belty, this one is even weirder — there’s no auto-sizing, but it does have a power bank charger in the buckle. OK, two things. Not only do I not want a potentially volatile compound near my nethers, I don’t want to connect a series of devices there either.

Read more: Meet Belty, the Ridiculous but Strangely Popular Show-Stealer of CES Unveiled

Xybernaut Poma

First shown off at CES 1998, the Hitachi Xybernaut wearable computer was a terrible idea long before Google Glass was even a gleam in Babak Parviz’s eye. The Windows CE-based Xybernaut Poma offered a 128MHz RISC processor and 32MB of RAM for the low price of $1,499, plus it strapped to your arm and your face and your belt!

Read more: Hitachi Fashioning Wearable PCs

Denso Vacuum Shoes

Shoes. You wear ’em. They wear out, you buy more. But that’s not exciting now, is it? They need things in them — phones, rockets, rollers and… vacuums? There are so many puns I could make about even just the name of the Denso Vacuum Shoes, but the fact that they existed at all was the biggest joke of all.

Read more: Vacuum Cleaner Shoes Show Up at CES Because Why Not

Technologies

Bessent tells Russia no economic relief will come until Ukraine war ends as Europe isolates Moscow at G20

U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent told Russian Finance Minister Anton Siluanov that no economic relief or new agreements can be made while the war in Ukraine continues, during a rare G20 meeting in Asheville, North Carolina.

U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent reportedly told Russian Finance Minister Anton Siluanov that no sanctions relief or new agreements with Moscow were possible, as long as the war in Ukraine continues.

The two officials met on the sidelines of a Group of 20 finance leaders gathering in Asheville, North Carolina.

Bessent’s remarks came as Siluanov’s first in-person appearance at the summit since Russia’s invasion of Ukraine in 2022 drew objections from other European leaders. European governments have planned to expand sanctions to further squeeze Moscow’s economy and finances.

The rare meeting underscored Washington’s willingness to reopen high-level diplomatic channels with Moscow, even as European allies have intended to keep the nation isolated while the war continues.

Bessent made it clear to Siluanov that “nothing is possible until the war is over,” when the Russian minister brought up other areas of mutual interest, Reuters reported.

The meeting centered on President Donald Trump’s peace plan for Ukraine and economic growth, according to Axios, while Russia’s finance ministry described the discussions as covering financial cooperation between the two nations within the G20 framework.

Russia’s surprise return to the table sparked dismay among European officials, who opposed appearing with Siluanov in the traditional G20 photo, which was ultimately taken without the Russian minister.

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Technologies

Venezuela grants U.S.-backed oil firm NABEP 100-year concessions for 17 oil fields, White House says

Venezuelan interim authorities have granted North American Blue Energy Partners 100-year concessions for 17 oil fields, White House says.

Venezuelan interim authorities have granted U.S.-backed North American Blue Energy Partners, or NABEP, 100-year concessions for 17 oil fields, with proven reserves of about 65 billion barrels, the White House said on Monday.

NABEP is the second-largest private oil producer in Venezuela. The company has granted the U.S. Department of War’s Office of Strategic Capital an equity stake of 35% in its corporate parent, according to the White House, representing up to “hundreds of billions in value and dividends for the United States.”

President Donald Trump announced Friday a deal with Caracas that would give the U.S. majority control over 65 billion barrels, or about 20% of the South American nation’s massive oil reserves. The U.S. had about 46 billion barrels in proven oil reserves as of end-2024, according to official figures.

In a fact sheet published Monday evening stateside, the U.S. government said it would enjoy the right to purchase, at production cost, a guaranteed 20% of the off-take from all current and future fields NABEP will operate, as part of an effort to facilitate refilling the U.S. strategic petroleum reserves.

The U.S. government also has the “right of first refusal” to purchase the remaining 80% of NABEP’s production, making Washington the prioritized buyer for its energy reserves.

Analysts, however, remained skeptical that the landmark oil deal could meaningfully boost the U.S. energy production and bring down gas prices for Americans in the near term. Huge investments are needed to extract the rich resources in Venezuela, whose oil output remains at a fraction of its capacity due to decades of mismanagement, lack of investment and sanctions.

NABEP also planned to invest up to $100 billion in new oil infrastructure in Venezuela to scale production, the White House said. Under the agreement, the company is expected to pay $200 billion in royalty and tax payments to Venezuelan governments over the first 25 years.

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Technologies

Tanker hit in Strait of Hormuz, sparking escalation fears as Trump pledges severe response to Iran

A tanker was struck by three unidentified projectiles in the Strait of Hormuz on Monday, raising concerns about a potential escalation in the Middle East conflict, as President Trump vowed a severe response to Iran.

A tanker was struck by three unidentified projectiles while navigating the Strait of Hormuz on Monday, raising concerns that the Middle East conflict could flare up again.

The vessel was traveling in the southern shipping lane near the Omani coast, according to a Tuesday statement from the UK Maritime Trade Operations agency, posted in Asia time. No injuries were reported.

Iran launched an attack on two U.S. bases in Jordan on Monday in retaliation for America’s strike on its Larak Island. U.S. forces targeted two Iranian rocket launchers on Larak Island on Sunday, reportedly killing three, claiming that Tehran intended to fire rockets carrying sea mines into the Strait of Hormuz.

The small island, situated in the Strait of Hormuz, has been a critical military and shipping control point for Iranian forces, enabling them to maintain tight control over vessel traffic through one of the world’s most vital maritime routes.

The tit-for-tat hostilities marked the first time in over a month that the U.S. and Iran have exchanged strikes.

While neither side appears to be seeking a return to full-scale war, both have signaled readiness to respond to further attacks. “We are going to hit them hard,” President Donald Trump told Fox News on Monday, stating that “there will be a response” to Iran’s attacks on U.S. military bases in the region.

Analysts largely view the U.S. attack on Larak Island as an attempt to break a deadlock rather than a shift in strategy. “By targeting the launchers rather than broader Iranian military infrastructure, the U.S. seems to be punishing a specific behavior rather than, at least for now, expanding its war aims,” said Ali Vaez, deputy program director at International Crisis Group.

“It is enforcing the blockade,” said Jason Brodsky, policy director of United Against Nuclear Iran, adding that the Trump administration’s goal is to further degrade Tehran’s ability to mine the Strait of Hormuz, while focusing on economic coercive measures as the midterm elections approach.

Washington has intensified pressure to squeeze Iran’s already weakened economy with “secondary sanctions” that penalize nations and businesses buying Iranian crude. U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said Monday, on the sidelines of the Group of 20 finance ministers’ gathering, that Iran was “lashing out kinetically” because the new sanctions were taking a toll on its economy.

Speaking from the Oval Office on Monday, Trump reportedly said that Iran’s financial systems, armed forces, and governing body have largely degraded. “It doesn’t mean we won’t smack them to see what happens,” the president said.

The war, now entering its seventh month, has disrupted global energy supplies and sent shockwaves through global financial markets. International oil benchmark Brent surged past $90 a barrel amid renewed hostilities and last traded at $91.08 on Tuesday. U.S. West Texas Intermediate futures added less than 1% to $86.65 per barrel.

“This is fundamentally an endurance contest,” said Brodsky, as Trump has demonstrated an “unpredictability” that should concern the Iranians, and Tehran may lash out more aggressively militarily as economic pressure mounts.

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