Technologies

Top 10 Worst CES Products of the 21st Century

Why is CES so obsessed with strapping things to our heads?

It’s a wrap on CES for another year, and together we’ve seen our share of both weird and wonderful devices in 2023, but… mostly weird.

Flying cars and obscure robots are so old hat now, and so I wondered if CES could do anything less practical and even more completely bonkers. Turns out it can! Over the past 20-plus years, I’ve seen gadgets so stupefying that sometimes they exist purely because journalists like me will write about them. But it’s time to call out the really awful ones, the worst of the worst. Vacuum shoes, toilet paper robots, MP3 weapon holsters, it’s your time to shine!

The most interesting part about this rogues gallery is that some of these products — the PePe pet dryer, the HapiFork and the HushMe, to name a few — are still being sold today. That’s right: You blew it up, you maniacs!

Dyson Zone Air-Purifying Headphones

Not technically a CES product as this was announced during 2022, but Dyson was displaying the Zone Headphones on its stand at CES 2023. Though the Zone looks like it should be a COVID mask, that’s unfortunately not what it does. According to the Dyson site, development on the Zone began way back in 2016 as a personal air filter — for pollution, mainly — and as such, it was never designed to protect against COVID. Furthermore, one critic has claimed the gadget’s force-driven fans could even help maximize your chances of catching coronavirus.

Charmin Rollbot

Computer peripherals manufacturer Razer is the king of creating «look at me» products specifically for CES, but toilet tissue brand Charmin became notorious for this 2020 entry. That’s right, in the year that saw the mass panic buying of toilet paper came a robot that could bring you even more! Coincidence? Yes… probably. The RollBot was never going to be a real product, but we loved/loathed it anyway.

Kolibree Smart Toothbrush

Remember when we had to wash our hands for 20 seconds by singing songs to ourselves? The same methodology also applies to brushing your teeth, but why should you use your own brain and lips like a sucker? There have been many smart toothbrushes over the years, but today I’m picking on the Kolibree. Everything was just fine until the arrival of «the world’s first connected electric toothbrush.» Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…

Taser MP3 Holster

Back in the 2000s, the iPod became such a cultural phenomenon that every company rushed to create an MP3 player of its own. This culminated in what is one of the dumbest CES products in recent memory: the Tazer MP3 holster. Imagine trying to not only charge your holster but also connect it via USB to your computer to fill it up with 1GB of tunes.

Pepe Pet Dryer

Want to find a new way to make your small dog or cat hate you forever? Lock them in a cube prison for 25 minutes(!) and subject them to gusts of hot air. This combination torture device/dryer would have set you back $660, or you could just throw a towel over your wet dog like a normal human.

HapiFork

Throughout history, there have been so many gadgets designed to limit normal human behavior, but this one takes the (pan)cake. The HapiFork is yet another vibrating gadget that tells you to eat your meals slower (over 20 minutes), with the idea being that you are less likely to overeat. Personally, I wolf my own meals down like I’m in prison, so do your worst, HapiFork. I’ll eat with my hands if I have to! You’re not the boss of me!

Hushme

The Hushme is literally a «dumb» product — it’s designed to make its user mute to other people in the immediate vicinity. It was pitched as being useful in workplaces, but… if a co-worker gave me one of these, they’d better be wearing vacuum shoes, in order to clean up the gleefully stomped-on bits.

Belty

The original Belty was a prototype smart belt with a motor in it that adjusted itself to whether you just ate or were sitting down. Impractical as hell, but kind of cool? While there is a newer model, also called Belty, this one is even weirder — there’s no auto-sizing, but it does have a power bank charger in the buckle. OK, two things. Not only do I not want a potentially volatile compound near my nethers, I don’t want to connect a series of devices there either.

Xybernaut Poma

First shown off at CES 1998, the Hitachi-Xybernaut wearable computer was a terrible idea long before Google Glass was even a gleam in Babak Parviz’s eye. The Windows CE-based Xybernaut Poma offered a 128-MHz RISC processor and 32 MB of RAM, plus it strapped to your arm and your face and your belt!

Read more: Hitachi fashioning wearable PCs

Denso Vacuum Shoes

Shoes. You wear ’em. They wear out, you buy more. But that’s not exciting now, is it? They need things in them — phones, rockets, rollers, and… vaccuums? There are so many puns I could make about even just the name of the Denso Vacuum Shoes, but the fact that they existed at all was the biggest joke of all.

Technologies

Today’s NYT Mini Crossword Answers for Wednesday, April 8

Here are the answers for The New York Times Mini Crossword for April 8.

Looking for the most recent Mini Crossword answer? Click here for today’s Mini Crossword hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Wordle, Strands, Connections and Connections: Sports Edition puzzles.

Need some help with today’s Mini Crossword? Hint: It uses a lot of the letter Z for some reason. Read on for all the answers. And if you could use some hints and guidance for daily solving, check out our Mini Crossword tips.

If you’re looking for today’s Wordle, Connections, Connections: Sports Edition and Strands answers, you can visit CNET’s NYT puzzle hints page.

Read more: Tips and Tricks for Solving The New York Times Mini Crossword

Let’s get to those Mini Crossword clues and answers.

Mini across clues and answers

1A clue: ___-Carlton (hotel chain)
Answer: RITZ

5A clue: Span of the alphabet
Answer: ATOZ

6A clue: Cable channel with an out-of-this-world name
Answer: STARZ

7A clue: Takes care of, as a squeaky wheel
Answer: OILS

8A clue: Toy on a string
Answer: YOYO

Mini down clues and answers

1D clue: When a post receives far more negative comments than likes, in social media slang
Answer: RATIO

2D clue: World’s leading wine producer
Answer: ITALY

3D clue: Middle of the human body
Answer: TORSO

4D clue: Sleeping sound
Answer: ZZZ

6D clue: Tofu base
Answer: SOY

Technologies

Today’s NYT Connections: Sports Edition Hints and Answers for April 8, #562

Here are hints and the answers for the NYT Connections: Sports Edition puzzle for April 8 No. 562.

Looking for the most recent regular Connections answers? Click here for today’s Connections hints, as well as our daily answers and hints for The New York Times Mini Crossword, Wordle and Strands puzzles.

Today’s Connections: Sports Edition is a tough one. If you’re struggling with today’s puzzle but still want to solve it, read on for hints and the answers.

Connections: Sports Edition is published by The Athletic, the subscription-based sports journalism site owned by The Times. It doesn’t appear in the NYT Games app, but it does in The Athletic’s own app. Or you can play it for free online.

Read more: NYT Connections: Sports Edition Puzzle Comes Out of Beta

Hints for today’s Connections: Sports Edition groups

Here are four hints for the groupings in today’s Connections: Sports Edition puzzle, ranked from the easiest yellow group to the tough (and sometimes bizarre) purple group.

Yellow group hint: Working out.

Green group hint: Cover your face.

Blue group hint: NFL players.

Purple group hint: Leap.

Answers for today’s Connections: Sports Edition groups

Yellow group: Exercises in singular form.

Green group: Sporting jobs that require masks.

Blue group: Hall of Fame defensive ends.

Purple group: ____ jump.

Read more: Wordle Cheat Sheet: Here Are the Most Popular Letters Used in English Words

What are today’s Connections: Sports Edition answers?

The yellow words in today’s Connections

The theme is exercises in singular form. The four answers are crunch, plank, situp and squat.

The green words in today’s Connections

The theme is sporting jobs that require masks. The four answers are catcher, fencer, football player and goaltender.

The blue words in today’s Connections

The theme is Hall of Fame defensive ends. The four answers are Dent, Peppers, Strahan and Youngblood.

The purple words in today’s Connections

The theme is ____ jump. The four answers are broad, high, long and triple.

Technologies

The $135M Google Data Settlement Site Is Live — See If You’re Eligible

Use the settlement website to select your preferred payment method, and you may end up $100 richer.

You can now file a claim in the $135 million Google data settlement. The case centers on claims that Android devices transmitted user data without consent. Specifically, the class action lawsuit Taylor v. Google LLC contends that Google’s Android devices passively transferred cellular data to Google without user permission, even when the devices were idle. While not admitting fault, Google reached a preliminary settlement in January, agreeing to pay $135 million to about 100 million US Android phone users.

The official settlement website for the lawsuit is now live. The final approval hearing won’t occur until June 23, when the court will consider whether Google’s settlement is fair and listen to objections. After that, the court will decide whether to approve the $135 million settlement.

In the meantime, if you qualify and want to be paid as part of the settlement, you can select your preferred payment method on the official website. There, you can find information on speaking at the June 23 court hearing and on how to exclude yourself or write to the court to object by May 29.

As part of the settlement, Google will update its Google Play terms of service to clarify that certain data transfers do occur passively even when you’re not using your Android device, and that cellular data may be relied upon when not connected to Wi-Fi. This can’t always be disabled, but users will be asked to consent to it when setting up their device.

Google will also fully stop collecting data when its «allow background data usage» option is toggled off.

Who can be part of the settlement?

In order to join the Taylor v. Google LLC settlement, you must meet four qualifications:

Be a living, individual human being in the US.
Have used an Android mobile device with a cellular data plan.
Have used the aforementioned device at any time from Nov. 12, 2017, to the date when the settlement receives final approval.
You’re not a class member in the Csupo v. Google LLC lawsuit, which is similar but specifically for California residents.

The final approval hearing is on June 23, so you can add your payment method until then. The hearing’s date and time may change, and any updates will be posted on the settlement website.

If you choose to do nothing, you will still be issued a settlement payment, but you may not receive it if you don’t select a payment method.

How much will I get paid?

It’s not currently known exactly how much each settlement class member will receive, but the cap is $100. Payments will be distributed after final court approval and after any appeals are resolved.

After all administrative, tax and attorney costs are paid, the settlement administrator will attempt to pay each member an equal amount. If any funds remain after payments are sent, and it’s economically feasible, they will be redistributed to members who were previously and successfully paid. If it’s not economically feasible, the funds will go to an organization approved by the court.