Depending on who you ask, texting is either an easy way to keep in touch or an overbearing item on an ever-growing to-do list. What’s convenient for one person may be a burden to another, which can cause strains on some relationships. 

So, how long can someone go without texting you back before they end up on the friendship chopping block? Not very long, if you ask me. 

It might come across as harsh, but I believe healthy relationships are sustained by timely communication, instead of consistently leaving someone on Read or Delivered for a week. It becomes practically impossible to coordinate hangouts or share life updates if someone can’t bother to respond to your messages within a reasonable window, or otherwise call you if that’s how they prefer to chat. 

Friends who take days to reply — if they ever do — come off as indifferent and uninterested, especially when they don’t arrange alternative ways to catch up. You might start to wonder how much they actually value your time and effort, and why they don’t prioritize communicating with you. Repeated offenses can make it tempting to throw in the towel and invest your energy elsewhere.  

How long can you go without texting someone back?

I’ll first acknowledge my personal bias here: I have always enjoyed texting. It’s been my preferred method of communication since I got my first phone at 13 years old and discovered the magic of talking to my friends anytime, anywhere. 

It’s no coincidence that some of my closest friends tend to be people with whom I regularly text. There’s a sense of familiarity that comes from sharing your day-to-day experiences and thoughts. It’s also a fun way to engage in banter and share relatable memes and videos.

And before I upset anyone — if I haven’t already — I’ll again acknowledge that for some people, texting isn’t enjoyable. But I still think people have a responsibility to communicate clearly and frequently with loved ones if they hope to maintain those relationships, whether it’s a text, phone call or in-person meetup.  

So, what’s an acceptable window of time for someone to text you back? 

Despite how unaccommodating I may come off in that frank introduction, I do like to give people chances. If someone takes days to reply to me the first time, or simply never gets back to me, I let it go. But if it happens again, that’s a strike. I believe you should always text someone back within a 24-hour period — notwithstanding special circumstances like travel or illness, etc. 

Repeatedly taking several days to reply is not only inconsiderate, it also just kills the vibe. Why do I care if you laughed at a meme I sent you five days ago? At that point, I won’t even remember what I reached out to you about. And if I’m asking you about going to an event and you only respond after it’s over, that unlocks a whole other level of annoyance. 

I believe the time and effort you invest in friendships includes replying to texts within a reasonable period (as long as your friend isn’t bombarding your inbox, of course). So if someone continuously takes days to reply, I take it as my sign to stop trying, and to put that energy into the friends who won’t leave me waiting.

A more personal way to stay in touch

As a teenager, my friends and I would text each other around the clock, sending a steady stream of messages and photos about anything and everything, most of it totally inconsequential. (Being young and unemployed made this all the easier.)

But as we got older and busier, and as social media began eating up our free time, text messages were largely supplanted by posting and consuming content on platforms like Facebook and Instagram. Our digital activity became less personal, more performative and less conducive to maintaining relationships. Social media gives the false impression of keeping up with someone without actually talking to them, so relationships tend to fracture.

Most people have witnessed the awkwardness of someone not replying to your text for days, but ceaselessly posting on social media. Time and energy goes into both activities, and choosing to bypass personal interactions for more public-facing ones can prevent you from feeling a genuine connection to the people who care to reach out to you. Taking 30 seconds to reply to a text could be the difference between making and breaking a meaningful relationship. 

While phone calls and in-person meetups are undoubtedly the best ways to have an in-depth conversation with someone, finding a time that works for both parties can be a challenge, given how increasingly hectic our lives have become. Texting can be a comparatively low-lift way to build a true sense of camaraderie and connection.

So, the next time you think it’s not a big deal to leave someone on Read or Delivered, maybe reconsider what your actions (or lack thereof) may convey. 

Ask any single woman, and they’ll probably tell you how rough the dating world is. From ghosting to misleading bios, it can be challenging to know who you’re really chatting to on dating apps, and whether they’re telling the truth about themselves.

Tea is an app that allows women to anonymously review men and spill «the tea» on men they’ve dated. About 1 million women have started using the app in the past week. It’s reminiscent of those Facebook «Are We Dating the Same Guy?» groups that many cities have, except this app uses AI to verify that the people making profiles are women. 

Tea has become a viral sensation in the last few weeks — for good and bad reasons. 

The app experienced a security breach — revealed last Friday — in which data, including women’s driver’s licenses and selfies, was posted to 4chan. The breach is reportedly the result of Tea’s unsecured database. The company confirmed to CNET that unauthorized access to its systems had occurred.

What is the Tea app?

Tea is a free, women-only app exclusive to the US. It’s not a dating app; it’s a tool that women use in addition to their dating apps. It’s a space where you can share negative interactions while dating and solicit feedback on specific men you date to expose potential risks and protect other women. 

It was founded in 2023 by Sean Cook, who cites his mother getting catfished online as the motivation for the app. Tea has taken off in the past week, gaining more than a million users in that time. According to a social media post from Tea, the app has about 4 million users. It’s the second most popular free app in the Apple App Store right now, right after ChatGPT.

Tea is intended to function as a community that keeps women safe, something that traditional dating apps lack. With candid reviews and warnings from other women about people they’ve dated, Tea offers women the security of having a better idea of who they’re dating. 

When you open the app, you’ll see local men in your area whose pictures have been uploaded. You’ll also see if the man was labeled as a red or green flag, and any comments left by other women. 

You can look up specific names in the search bar and create alerts for names. The app’s capabilities aren’t limited to comments about a man’s «red flags.» Tea can also reverse-search photos to catch catfishers through Tea’s Catfish Finder AI, run background checks, check for criminal histories and public records and look up phone numbers.

Additionally, you can post questions and polls on the Tea app. According to Tea’s website, 10% of its profits go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

How does Tea know if I’m a woman?

Not just anyone can join the Tea app — it’s for women only. When you make an account, you’ll be asked to provide your location, birth date and a picture of your ID or a selfie to verify that you’re a woman. Then you wait to be approved, which people are saying can take days from the influx of new users. 

The Tea app uses AI to verify your identity and ensure you’re a woman. Once approved, you’re anonymous apart from the username you choose. Tea uses SafeSip AI as a moderation tool that detects and removes harmful content from the app to ensure it stays a safe space for women.

Can I join Tea if I’m not a woman?

You can’t join the Tea app if you’re not a woman. However, uploading a picture to ensure you’re a woman is far from a bulletproof way to ensure only women join the app. With filters or AI tools, it’s not clear how often Tea catches things like that.

What are the security risks of Tea?

Tea presents as a safe space to share information because you can’t screenshot in the app, you’re anonymous and it’s verified that all accounts are women. 

However, the data breach shows us just how fragile something like this can be. Tea confirmed last week that there was unauthorized access to its legacy data storage system. Approximately 72,000 images were exposed, including 13,000 images of selfies and photo identification women submitted to make an account, and 59,000 images publicly viewable in the app from posts, comments and direct messages.

Tea told CNET that the company has engaged third-party cybersecurity experts to secure its systems.

The concept of Tea is to keep women safe and give them a space to share negative experiences so that others don’t have to go through the same thing. However, there has also been backlash about whether the app violates men’s privacy. On forums like Reddit, some men have shared that posts about them on the app have been false or misleading, and because they’re not allowed on the app, they cannot engage to correct the posts.

In the same way that it could be a safe place for women to share information to keep each other safe, it could potentially become a space where misinformation runs rampant and personal information is shared.

Tea didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment on the potential for misinformation being spread on its platform, or of the allegations of privacy violations against men. We have also asked Tea whether the platform is heterosexually geared only.